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Academic Job Listings for My Exes

The New Yorker - 8 Dec 2015 18:00
Reed College invites applications for Director of the Elliott Smith Center for Emotional Manipulation. Successful applicant will be a husky Portlander who pays for birthday gifts with gift-recipient's credit card. Preferred secondary specializations include mansplaining, daddy issues, and applying the phrase "don't believe in" to things that clearly exist. Applicant with an ability to completely isolate his partner from her friends will be especially attractive. Please submit half a dozen jars of urine that have been aging on the Bowflex in your basement studio apartment via Interfolio.
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