The Bummer About Eli Manning, In Two Maps

Finally, after nine seasons, some respect for the lesser Manning! Two rings, just a game away from 30,000 yards/200 career TDs, in control of the tough NFC East. Looks like everything’s coming up— Sorry Eli, it looks like at least 3,574 people — presumably some of them women — would rather hang out with a man three times accused of sexual assault. -Reuben