Open Post: Hosted By PETA's Vegipeens

So according to this PETA commercial, every dude who becomes a vegan will suddenly grow a bush of leafy pubes, a pair of lemon huevos and a gigantic cucumber dick that he'll wave at everyone while making douche faces. You'll be as hung the Jolly Green Giant. This is what Alicia Silverstone thinks of when she's getting down with her vibrating leaf. Since I'm like the gay Big and forever 13 years old , I have to blow practically every zucchini I see. But  now, how can I do that without think...