No, the Higgs Boson Won't Cure Cancer . . .

. . . but I kinda want a part of the LHC anyway. Sorry, the Higgs Boson won't cure cancer or help you lose weight. Snake oil salesmen are terrible, despicable scumbags who take advantage of sick people desperately in search of cures, often for painful and terminal ailments. It's particularly bothersome to me when people use pseudo-scientific physics (pseudophysics?) to steal from the infirm and uninformed. Devices that protect you from harmless cell phone radiation, healing crystals, and magnets...