Style Invitational Week 1135: The meter's running: What in life needs a timer?

In Week 1130 we listed some items available from RepurposedMaterialsInc.com -- everything from mineral oil to Jersey barriers to a hockey rink -- and asked for some imaginative ideas for using them singly or in combination. Many people suggested using the synthetic turf to accompany that non-crabmeat for an all-fake "surf and turf."