What It's Like To Drive A Zamboni

Years ago, after swilling an entire bottle of 20W-50 motor oil, I had a vision. The Great Junkyard Dog appeared to me, and asked me what I most wanted to drive. "A vehicle that transcends time and space," I whispered. "A vehicle that uses the light of humankind as its road." The dog nodded, and answered surprisingly quickly: "You, my child, want to drive a Zamboni."