Can Santa Claus bend the space-time continuum?

Okay, so here's the thing about Santa Claus. Every year, this elderly, overweight man somehow manages to lug giant bags of toys down millions of chimneys. He does this in the span of a couple hours, without being spotted, and without toppling off icy roofs. It's an impressive -- if suspicious -- series of feats. And Claus does, after all, have a history of suspicious behavior, including a series of alleged hit-and-runs involving grandmas. So, how does he accomplish this annual chimney-hopping ma...