Why I Will Never Switch to an Open Kitchen Floorplan

I can get behind a design trend just as fast as the next person. Exposed brick? Sliding barn doors? Reclaimed wood? Check, check, and check! I dream of a farmhouse sink and a subway tile backsplash and am about to do the all-open-shelving thing in our kitchen. But there's one seemingly mandatory design decision that I have zero interest in making: adopting the open kitchen.