What's the Difference Between "Vintage," "Antique," and "Retro"?

Ah, the joys of aging. Those jarring little moments in life when you learn that what (seems like) recent history for you is ancient history for others. When a “Golden Oldies” playlist on Spotify includes a song you thought was still relatively hip. Realizing that 10 Things I Hate About You is more than two decades old (!). Stepping foot into Urban Outfitters. Period.