I tried playing Elden Ring without playing Elden Ring, and it was going fine until I ran into the most terrifying boss of them all

I should have been better. But I’m not, and here I am. A Tarnished named Timmy sits by the site of grace tucked just inside Nokron, Eternal City. In this cavernous, overwhelming locale, as with all the others he’s passed through to get here, he’s got all the power a fighter could ever hope for coursing through his veins. The problem is, right now, it’s totally useless to him. This uber-god among demigods – resembling Kurt Russell if he were to lose an eye and suffer from the kind of fr...