An Open Letter to the Camera Cultists and Camera Fanboys

You've found religion in the form of a camera brand that you had to pay to get into. You've discovered heaven in the way that ergonomics feel. You rejoice in the way that camera shutters sound -- at times finding contentment in their silence like a sacred vow undertaken by monks. And ultimately, you find faith in the lenses. But where is your camera God when you need something done? Like the Aztecs, they demand a sacrifice of money for you to be given their favor at any one time. My dearest came...