ISIS has banned indoor cat sex

The Islamic State knows what it takes to successfully conquer territory, put down insurrection, and maintain religious purity, and the answer, of course, is to not allow cats to have sex inside of houses. Learning from the mistakes of empires past -- Rome, for instance, was notorious for letting cats get it on wherever they wanted -- ISIS's Central Fatwa Committee has issued a ban on indoor cat breeding in Mosul, the last major city the terrorist organization controls in Iraq. "ISIS called on th...