Robbie Williams singing Let Me Entertain You before Russia v Saudi Arabia

Sign up now! Sign up now! Sign up now? Sign up now! Wallchart affixed to fridge door with novelty football magnets? Tick. Panini album half-filled in and forgotten about? Tick. Seventeen different World Cup supplements devoured and scoured? Tick. Profiles of all 736 players travelling to Russia from Big Website's interactive memorised? Tick. Big Paper's 100-page guide to World Cup 2018 on standby for pub debate settlement? Tickety-tick tick tick! Armed with all the requisite gear but still as cl...